As you wish to raise your kids, so be it, of course. It is at least consistent. I feel sorry for your kids not having a large family to gather with: seems rather like the Pharisees to me.

I was raised with 65 + at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Memorial day, Labour day, birthdays weddings. In fact I know that some attitudes against certain family members were laid aside for such events just so we could all be together.

I’m sure you’d disapprove as I do of your methods.

Here’s to a peaceful new year for both of us.

When the child asks:

“why is Uncle so and so never here at Christmas?” or “why does Auntie so and so not come to her nephew’s school play?”

What will you say?

My response: The real difficulty is in explaining why we will not go to the large family gatherings at Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving and so forth. These are held in the homes of persons who have left the faith and live in open disregard of the teaching of the Church.

The reasons given are that my parents raised us along different lines altogether and to go there would betray them and my siblings as well, and that by giving tacit approval to their apostasy and deviance I would betray Jesus Christ and the Church, Western Civilization, Natural Law, normality, humanity, sex.

Then there is the fact that we need the blessing and approval of God for many reasons- for example to have our prayers answered. But one does not gain the approval and the blessing of God by bringing ones children into a scandalous atmosphere. In fact, it is forbidden.

My principle is this, that I am perfectly happy to meet with any of my siblings any time, but not in circumstances where approval of a forbidden relationship is implied. On that basis we have been able to go to the odd family gathering together with the children, or have family over-those that are practicing, or who at least have not made themselves apostles of darkness.

Again this doesn’t mean teaching kids not to be friendly. It means avoiding opportunities for them to develop friendly regard *and* admiration for a person whom the parent considers a bad example.

Anyway, I appreciate the fact that you do seem to understand Lee’s point. You don’t display the knee-jerk reaction that any Christian who considers homosexuality a sin is automatically hateful.

What will you say?

Why should I allow the lesbian aunt into the house, thus conveying the idea that queer is normal, that the sexual ethics of the Church is a matter of little import? The gay/lesbian community has very successfully been marketing the idea that queer is normal, but that notion, besides being completely insane (a logical and biological contradiction) is one that it is uncharitable to allow into a Christian home. The children are in a formative stage and homosexuality should not be implicitly presented as a pleasant, innocuous option.

Of course, it is painful for the adults involved, but the over-riding concern of a Catholic father is the formation of his children, a concern which makes any one else’s feelings very small potatoes indeed.

Jesus Christ ate and drank with sinners, it is true, and when he did so, he often had some very stern things to say to them.

And as I recall, too, he had some very stern, hair-raising things to say about those who scandalize little children. On that score it is a loving thing to deprive atheists etc of the opportunity to do anything of the kind. Nor would I be off the hook myself if I allowed my children to be scandalized in my own home. What are fathers for if not to protect their children from evils of every kind?

Is that better than “hate”?

Put it this way: If you think the guy who wrote this is hateful, would you want your kids exposed to his influence? Maybe some would. But to those who would not: would that mean you would teach your kids to hate the guy?

Teaching kids to hate someone, and avoiding exposing your kids to someone’s influence, are entirely different things. You can disagree with someone without hating him, and you can try to exclude what you consider bad influences from your child’s life without teaching your child to hate anyone.

In fact, i’m kind of reading 1 through my filter for 2. I generally avoid TV save for a very few shows caught on the recorder. My idea of “popular music” is the Glen Miller band. But from #2 I got the sense that #1 was an eternal thing as well. If you can’t have “friendly regard” for those who might be different, then I doubt you’d ever be allowed to even see the movin pikchurs.

All #1 requires is a discerning family who cares about the qulity of what the kids watch and *talks to them* about it. Limit the time, yes! But don’t ignore/avoid/fear it.