Sarx

UT OF All the possible things to miss about Orthodoxy what I miss most is Confession. I love the liturgy. I love the music. I don’t love the vestments, to be honest, - which tend to look like my Victorian Grandmother’s Flocked Wallpaper. Icons I have lots of. I can still fast. And I still have a huge collection of Orthodox prayer books…

But I miss confession.

After nearly 5 years of once every 4 to 6 weeks, I’ve gone nearly a year… and I can feel its absence. This experience of having it and missing it, more than any teaching, canon or custom, proves to me the truth of the Tradition: I feel like an avid body builder who has gone a year without the gym. I can feel the flab coming back.

An Anglican friend asked about Eastern Rite confession…

For the ER Orthodox you stand there, facing (usually) an icon of Jesus - although it could be another one. There is a cross and a Bible present as well. You confess to God - the priest’s words are clear, “I’m only a witness”. He’s there on behalf of the community. When one is done talking, the priest takes over, sharing advice, offering consolation and love. Then one kneels (or bows) down and the priest puts his stole over your head. It’s like getting a hug from God. Kiss the Cross, kiss the Bible, and get a hug from Father…

I miss that. A lot.

Take a look here for some information on confession within the Eastern tradition.

I don’t wish to paint too rosy a picture - a surf around the net will produce ample evidence contrary to all that follows, but in my experience with 4 confessors: The primary things to know about Orthodox confession (not true of western as far as I know) is 1) that there are no “mortal” and “venal” sins; 2) Orthodox confess “sins voluntary and involuntary, known and unknown” because, even having no doctrine of “original sin” there is a clear acknowledgement that most of our life is fraught with choices in a broken world that result in sins. One can chose to go to Eucharist instead of Work on a feast day - has one sinned against one’s employer that way? Only God will know.

Every sin divides you from God and from God’s other children. And everything that divides you from them is sin. Did you fail to treat the waitress as Christ? Did you forget to acknowledge Jesus present at table with you? Did you miss a chance to pray because you were ashamed to suggest it?

As you look down that page I linked, you’ll see a lot of the preparations for confession are focused on daily actions. (St Kosmas asks his Greek and Turkish spiritual children “did you smoke too much?”) They are not usually focused on doctrinal lists of sins. Some writers (quoted in the OCA’s book on preparation for confession, for example) wonder if using any list will result in too much legalism, and advise the reader to use the Beatitudes as a guide - but even those can be too legalistic if one is not careful! There is a real awareness that some things might not be sins for everyone - a rather post-modern idea that I liked to find in my Orthodoxy!

There is also a sense of Confession as medicine for a sickness we all have: the priest is the doctor - but he is also sick: “Pray for me, a sinner” he says as you finish. Although a late revision of the Russian rite has the priest say “may God absolve you through me his unworthy priest” the older, Greek rite has no such thing. It’s God who forgives.

It’s easy to get hung up on east/west differences and insist that one has it right and the other wrong. But I think that one thing - “pray for me, a sinner” - said even by the Russian priests, is the main difference. I’m glad that line is included in the Episcopal BCP rite. If I could find an Episcopal Priest (or any denomination, really, if they were willing to use something like the Eastern Rite), I’d be going to him quite regularly. I say “any denomination” because I’m not so sure of the sacramental “validity” of one denomination versus another one any more. Having joined “The True Church” and backed out, there are some lines I’m no longer willing to draw.

An Anglo-Catholic priest - an old friend for the last 25 years - said he had no suggestions at all in Buffalo. Although he did suggest a priest in Ontario whom I contacted immediately by email. No luck. Another priest, local to me here, replied there was no Episcopalian at all in the Buffalo area whom he could recommend. A third priest - not local at all, and not well known to me - has, at least, put me in touch with a layman who might, possibly, be able to set me in the right direction.

The Monastery in Toronto seems rather attractive, but truth be told they are a bit out of the way for me. My preference would be for someone closer. If I’m to travel to a big city rarely (as opposed to a local priest more-frequently) I’d just as soon go to someone whom I could call on a regular basis without international charges!

As noted, after five years of once a month, or so, it begins to weigh on me: it feels like all the drains are clogged. Barring any other option, I will, I think, take advantage of my trip to Asheville to make confession to Fr B while I’m at St Mary’s. But that’s once a year: not kosher!