Sarx

NLY ONE Week after the Resurrection and our readings for today (from the RCL) confront us with the two things we least want to hear about in church: money and doubt.

We have two layers of Church History here: The early church, we are told, received from each according to their ability and gave to each according to their need. But the earliest church – the 11 – couldn’t convince one of their own that Jesus was raised except for him to see, touch and believe on his own.

We also have a couple of textual layers here: the Johannite material has the apostles receiving the Holy Spirit via the breath of Jesus. The Lukan material – perhaps to accentuate the universality of the Holy Spirit – portrays the spirit coming on Pentecost. The early communism of the church is in response to this Pentecost experience.

Imagine being, for a moment, in the room that day that Jesus showed up the first Pascha. Imagine (or project, at least) your joy. Imagine your astonishment. Then Jesus departs (for where, you do not know) having breathed on you something called “The Holy Spirit”. Then in the middle of your spiritual high comes Thomas… “Bah! Humbug” he says.

How do you react? Tell me, how you treat Thomas now? Here he is, one of the Lord’s chosen 12. But one of them has already betrayed him. Another one has already denied him and everyone in the room ran away at the most important point in the story. And yet all of that has been forgiven and Jesus was just here a moment ago – Sorry you missed him, Tom, but really: he was just here! “Bah! Humbug” he says.

How do you deal with his doubt?

The reading in Acts is the set-up for the story of Ananias & Sapphira: essentially the story is one of “everyone shared everything, except these two, and they died”.

How do you deal with doubt?

Preachers at St Gregory’s Church in San Francisco get feed back: the parish tradition holds that “we continue the work of preaching together”. After a time of silence the congregation is invited to share their own personal experiences which were called to mind either by the sermon or by the readings. The Sunday I preached, Gay Pride Sunday, there were a good few friends in the congregation. The first person to speak said, in response to my sermon, “that’s all very well and good for you who believe in Jesus, what about for those of us who don’t?” And there was an uncomfortable laughter around the room: but no answer was forthcoming. I still don’t know the answer.

How do you deal with doubt?

I think that the answer might come later in our reading from 1 John: Those who say, “I love God,” and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. (4:20)

When first contemplating these readings for Thomas Sunday, I was sitting in a coffee shop in Buffalo – near the back. Reclining on a sofa next to me were a man and a woman who had about them the air of street people. They were unwashed, although the woman had finely painted nails and red, high heeled shoes of a sort that could not but be called “Spikey”. The longer I sat there the more they seemed to me like a prostitute (she even had a gold lamé vest) and her friend or dealer or pimp. Not sure. At one point he got up and announced he was going out on the street to panhandle a bit. While he was gone she napped.

The entire time I sat there watching I really wanted to make some text/tweet/facebook comment about prostitutes and the coffee shop on Saturday Morning. But every time I typed it… I deleted it. Finally, I looked over there and some switch clicked in my head about Jesus and Prostitutes. And I realised I wasn’t being very Christian at all. About the only thing I could come up with that was not at her expense was “Kyrie Eleison”. How can we love God, whom we have not seen…

There was in the coffee shop another man who offered the lady some coffee. He had clearly spoken to her before: she joked with him and everyone at the table laughed. I heard him – clearly across the coffee shop – ask her if she still had his phone number. And to remember to call him if she needed anything.

How odd to find Jesus in Spot coffee in the body of an African American Muslim.

Jesus says, “Blessed are those who do not see and yet believe”. And yet the only way we know of our believing is to love those whom we do see… even the ones who deny.

How do you deal with doubt? The real issue for us is to realise that doubt is not a doctrinal question: it is a moral one. Doctrinal questions are easily settled by appeals to literalism and various texts – the Bible, the Fathers, the XXXIX Articles, the Liturgy, Hymns, whatever. But moral issues are solved only in relationship. My doubt is in failing to see Jesus present in the coffee shop. For me Jesus can’t be risen even though he was present for me to touch and see if I had only believed enough to do so.

It’s easy to be there on that first Pascha: Jesus walks into the room with us at every turn if we can but believe enough to see him.

How do you deal with doubt?