Sarx

EWLICIOUS Writer, Sarke, has an email conversation with her buddy, Earl, about living inside structures. I’m sorry to say she parallels religion with suburbia, but other than that, it works. She well points out from an Orthodox (Jewish) point of view why it is that the traditions and community of her chosen path offer her and her family far more than the modern, present manifestations of that path detract. She says, “My objections have to do with the contemporary wisdom of some of the rules in those structures and their method of adjudication, or their lack of compassion…” I find there a response to my own experience of confusing abusive clergy, Convert-Crazies and uptight “Byzantine Baptists” with the reality of Orthodoxy. But she makes the reality clear as well, adding, “I have no doubt that some rules are in fact necessary for a functional, productive life. I have no doubt that requiring hard things of people is overall a good policy, because people tend to step up then, when they are being required of.” (Emphasis mine.)From my own point of view, Orthodox Christianity requires no hard things of anyone. Again, my own POV, but I find this a marked difference from Orthodox Judaism, but that is only my own experience. It may be rather different in practice.

But in this Christian context, I’m struggling to guess what is the hard thing: avoiding animal products? Vegans do that all the time in the name of their political correctness. ER Christians only need do it 50% of the time – and that only with the blessing of their Spiritual Father. It’s nowhere near as legalistic as keeping Kosher or vegan! And while some (ok, me) might wrestle with what’s seen as archaic ideas of human sexuality, even there there are clergy who speak with compassion and inclusivity. What’s hard about this?

It seems that, overall, in this modern world – Israel or the States – the simple truth is that “hard” means “asking something of me.” If you ask something of me other than passive presence – ie, sitting in a pew once a week to sing some “praise and worship” tunes – you’re being too hard on me.

Sarke says,

It seems that you view my lifestyle as a battle of the Him (God / Law) or the Them (Society / Rules) vs. the I (My Needs and Wants.) But I view it more as a choice of We (family, community, spirituality) over Me Me Me.

I think another word for this idea of “repression” might be “accountability”. The real issue is that no one wants to be accountable for their little indiscretions (or big ones, for that matter). The problem is not “gay” or living in a relationship that falls outside of the accepted norms of a given religious community. The problem is on being willing to accept the norms of *any* community because to do so would be “repression”.

Sarke says her buddy Earl must have some rules to live by or he wouldn’t be as successful as he is. We all pick up our rules – we all have them. She’s right, of course. The ironical mirror image is seen when someone raises the un-PC question at a political meeting. “Why should we protest in front of a church?” And the answer is “Shut up, you’re not being gay enough!” (Been there… been that voice. The Gay Rights movement sometimes can’t even tell the difference between homophobia and and liberal religion if the latter uses the wrong words. I once had to defend a church in Greenwich Village for using Mark 1:3 on their reader board in Advent.)

The issue is accountability – to a community, a leader, a tradition. Even if we think otherwise, we all choose the community to whom we wish to be accountable. At a certain age, even the most Uber-Pious member of any community (Orthodox, Pro-Choice, Gay, Pro- or Anti-Gun Control, what ever) makes a choice to stay there or leave. The real question is about the value of the communities in which we stay. Some communities offer nest to nothing in exchange for our loyalty. Some offer rather a bit more – but require more than simply loyalty: they ask for a omni-directional accountability. Requiring hard things of people is overall a good policy.

I agree 100% with Sarke’s conclusion:

The perks: You are never alone; there are people looking out for you; you are part of something; you are consistently loved and asked to keep yourself open, consistently giving love; you are responsible for enriching your community; you must be disciplined and hold yourself to real, firm standards because there are eyes and ears (Divine and otherwise) everywhere. The downside: Same.

(PS: Referral logs between WordPress blogs being what they are… persons from Jewlicious are welcome to correct me if I’ve crossed any line!)